Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

“Well, if I’m wrong then… what more could I lose? “

What’s it about?

A gem collector with a plan to eliminate overpopulation gets picked on by a gang of super powered 30 year olds.

Who’s in it?

Fucking eeeeeeeverybody. Except for my boy Hawkeye, Ant-Man, The Wasp, Korg and Valkyrie. So, almost everybody.

Why should I watch it?

+ I wonder how they’re gonna establish Thanos’ character as being the most powerfu-
+ Ohhhhhhh
+ Thanos is an absolute BEAST
+ Made Hulk look like Ronda Rousey
+ Which makes sense as the Hulk is pretty much a brawler while Thanos has technique
+ The incredible Hulk? More like the insecure Hulk, am I right?
+ Thanos might be the best villain in the MCU
+ You kinda almost root for him… almost
+ You get where he’s coming from and believes he is right
+ So, he’s a bit like Killmonger
+ He’s a powerful figure with kids adopted from all over the world
+ So, he’s a bit like Angelina Jolie
+ Although he does spend most of the movie being disappointed by his children
+ He and my dad would get on well
+ It’s been a bad week for Thor, eh?
+ Guy can’t catch a break
+ The humour of Ragnarok Thor and Guardians of the Galaxy blended so well
+ I’d gladly pay to watch a Thor and Rocket spinoff
+ But they also share an emotional scene about loss
+ Drax gets the funniest lines
+ Interactions between heroes who haven’t met each other was great
+ Star Lord and Thor with their loss competition
+ Doctor Strange and Tony Stark not seeing eye to eye (thought they’d get on better personally)
+ Loved seeing the relationship between Peter Parker and Uncle Tony
+ The part where Peter hugs Tony and tells him he doesn’t want to go fucking killed me
+ Reminds me of that part in Homecoming where he’s stuck under a building
+ Just makes you realise that he’s a 15 year old boy
+ Vision looking like Harry Potter with his scar
+ Loved Ebony Maw, guy was fucking slick AF
+ The action scenes are fucking incredible
+ It’s basically Civil War times Infinity
+ Get it
+ My predictions were waaaaaaaaay off, thought Tony would die
+ Whoa, hey there, Red Skull
+ Whoa, hey there, Peter Dinklage
+ Is Thanos a West Ham supporter?
+ My man retired on a farm like Hawkeye
+ I do like how Marvel adds scenes to deceive people in trailers
+ Reality stone is so handy when it comes to expositions

Why shouldn’t I watch it?

– If you’re James Cameron
– FUCK PETER QUILL
– Calm your fucking tits down man
– Was seriously pissed off at all of the things he choses to be
– Fucking wait until the gauntlet is off man, fuck sake
– Wait, so Scarlett Witch and Vision, two of the most powerful heroes in the MCU, couldn’t beat Proxima Midnight and Corvus Glaive but a super soldier and two people without powers can?
– So, Guardians of the Galaxy will only have Rocket?
– Spider-Man 2 starring Aunt May?
– Doctor Strange 2 starring Wong?
– Black Panther starring M’Baku?
– Those sound great actually
– Thor, why didn’t you just cut his hand off, buddy?
– At least Tony Stark gets to save money on his wedding now?

Anything else?

First of all, shout out to Marvel for entertaining us! 10 years now, nearly old enough to drink. Shout out to the Russo Brothers, 10/10 on their juggling skills. Got me feeling all sorts of emotions during the fastest 2 and a half hour of my life. It’s not just a good superhero film, it’s also a great supervillain film with an ending that will leave you speeches and hopeless.

Watch out for one after credit scene to make your one year wait for the next Avengers feel less bleak.

10/10

You might also like:
Any other Marvel movie