“I feel a great swell of pity for the poor soul who comes to my school looking for trouble.”
What’s it about?
A force named Apocalypse awakens after many years of being buried alive and he’s dead set on cleansing the world because mutants follow
paralysed blind leaders. Basically if the world was a laptop, we’ve all been clicking questionnable websites and now the admin wants to reboot and reset us back to factory settings.
Who’s in it?
Okay, there’s *inhales* Jennifer Lawrence, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Nicholas Hoult, Evan Peters, Oscar Isaac, Sansa Stark, Olivia Munn, Alexandra Shipp, Tye Sheridan, Ben Hardy, Rose Byrne and Kodi Smit-McPhee. *exhales*
Why should I watch it?
+ Returning cast were great, especially McAvoy and Fassbender, they really made the characters their own
+ Don’t even think of McKellen and Stewart anymore when I think of Magneto and Professor X
+ Lawrence was excellent as Katniss, basically that old veteran that keeps repeating words like fight and war
+ Liked her line about the lack of war doesn’t equal peace, had a very Cold War vibe to it
+ Hands down, Quicksilver steals the show with his amazing scenes (yes, plural!)
+ Never noticed how fast he really is, he still zips around quickly even though he’s in slow mo mode already
+ Newcomers were also really good, nice introductions
+ Liked the adventures of the squad consisting of Cyclops, Jean and Nightcrawler
+ I’m all for a Jean and Scott love story, they had great chemistry
+ Nightcrawler also pulls off a few funny moments
+ Apocalypse comes across as menacing and all powerful
+ Liked how he gets powers by transferring his conscience, a little bit Sylar-esque (shout to to anyone who got that reference)
+ Great to see Moira back, Prof X needs some love too
+ Wolverine cameo, he appears more animalistic
+ Sets up his third movie very vaguely as well
+ Can’t wait to see how they tackle The Dark Phoenix Saga this time around
Why shouldn’t I watch it?
– Compared to past films, the story was way too simple and wasn’t as compelling as the whole humans/mutant relations angle
– It was basically like: I’m gonna destroy the world. Cool. I’m gonna wipe everything out. Yeah, we heard you the first time. I’m serious, I mean like everything. Mate, why are you still here then?
– Wasn’t as much action too, most of the action comes from the final (and only) battle
– For being basically a god, the mechanism of the mind transfer isn’t very efficient at all
– It’s like connecting your phone through your laptop to the speakers just to play a song
– Just connect the aux to your phone man!
– Also, if he wanted the most powerful mutants on his roster why the fuck did he choose a guy with wings? He really settled there
– And I feel like having Prof X’s power isn’t even a big deal. If everyone wore a metal bowl on their head, he’ll just look like a guy intensely staring at you while he holds two fingers to his temple
– It’s a little bit creepy to see Wolverine meeting young Jean too right? Knowing that he’ll try to seduce her with his pelvic sorcery later on
– Personally, I don’t think Apocalypse gave the new world a chance. He’s missing out on some funny vines and funny cat videos. Egyptians loved their cats right?
– Hey, if the whole destroying/rebuilding the world thing doesn’t work out, he can always have a career in hairdressing. Storm and Prof X look on point with their new hairstyles
– The ‘third film isn’t as good’ jab aimed at The Last Stand was pretty jokes but they also kinda shot themselves in the foot
Full disclosure, I was pretty tipsy when I watched this movie so you probably should be better off listening to someone else who was a little bit more sober. As you can see, this post is less of a review and more of a collection of shitty jokes. It’s not as good as First Class or DOFP but still worth checking out. All in all, this was probably like the Dark Knight Rises of The Dark Knight Trilogy.
You might also like:
X-Men: First Class
X-Men: Days of Future Past