Kong: Skull Island (2017)

“Is that a monkey?”

What’s it about?

This is what happens when you believe #KongLifeMatters but you don’t have a can of Pepsi in your hands.

Who’s in it?

Thor’s brother, my favourite actress, Samuel L. motherfucking Jackson, John “he’s not a badman but a” Goodman, John C. Reilly, Tobey Kebbell, Dr. Dre and Eazy-E from Straight Outta Compton and the main dude from Project X.

Why should I watch it?

+ Okay, first of all, Brie Larson
+ It’s a very different interpretation of the story and origin of King Kong
+ He’s been recast with a bigger and a better postured ape
+ Kong is an absolute BEAST
+ Filled with very entertaining action scenes
+ Eating octopus like noodles and swatting down choppers like flies
+ Actually, it’s pretty hard to swat down a fly
+ So, maybe like a mosquito or something?
+ And unlike Godzilla, Kong isn’t camera shy
+ But still prefer Godzilla’s fatality, if I’m honest
+ Some creative and interesting creatures on the island
+ Liked the quick cuts, which relates scenes
+ Also packed with humour, mostly because of John C. Reilly
+ Classic Army banter, busting balls and shit
+ Really good soundtrack too
+ Stick around for a post credit scene
+ If you know your monsters, you might be able to pick something out

Why shouldn’t I watch it?

– Combined talent of the ensemble cast was pretty wasted
– Weren’t given a lot to work with, some stuff feels forced and not earned
– We fucking love going to war, huh?
– I mean, this whole war on Kong started because of the cold war during the Vietnam war #Warception
– So, Brie Larson is the reason King Kong is into blonde women?
– Love Brie Larson, but that flare shot was too fucking accurate
– Good to know Tom Hiddlestone has been watching new episodes of Samurai Jack as well
– Samuel L. Jackson’s character encapsulates everything I hate about humanity
– He’s walking around angry AF like Kong just pissed all over his kids
– Guy wants to re-accomodate the shit out of Kong
– Pepsi AND United Airlines jokes?
– I’m so fucking on trend right now

Anything else?

Overall, the story and characters are definitely better in Godzilla but there are more fight scenes and more monster scenes in this one. Like Godzilla, his film feels slower while Kong, like this film, is more fast paced. The tone of Godzilla also feels like DC while Kong feels more like Marvel. Excited to see these two heavyweights go mano y mano. Although, I genuinely can’t see how Kong can beat Godzilla. He was struggling with a lizard his size and Godzilla has that fucking atomic breath. Can’t wait to hear Godzilla say “King Kong ain’t got shit on me.”

7/10

You might also like:
Godzilla
King Kong
Pacific Rim
Jurassic World