The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016)

“Learn from your loss, Freya, and your day will come.”

What’s it about?

Okay, well it kinda goes around the first story (like 300: Rise of an Empire did, but with a lot less topless men) mixed with Frozen (if Anna had dark powers, was a little more vain and was a complete psychopath).

Who’s in it?

Thor with an axe instead of a hammer, Charlize Theron, Jessica Chastain, Emily Blunt, the back of the head of someone who’s suppose to be Kirsten Stewart and a mirror that is harder to destroy than the one in Oculus.

Why should I watch it?

+ Charlize Theron is still solid as the evil Queen, her evil laugh is pretty terrifying
+ Thought the dwarves were just chucked in there and would find them unfunny but they really grew on me, ironically enough
+ Especially when they introduce the female dwarves
+ The back-and-forth insult game between the genders provides plenty of humour
+ Action scenes were decent enough (although it never really achieved war status, unlike the title suggested)
+ Visual effects and costumes were great to look at, if you’re into that kind of thing
+ Supports messages that we can all get behind with
+ Love conquers all (#LoveWins) and never set your niece on fire
+ I just hope people listen
+ Liam Neeson’s soothing voice as the narrator
+ Castle by Halsey is a great track

Why shouldn’t I watch it?

– Emily Blunt as Freya was pretty one note, with very sudden character changes
– Plus how are you suppose to build your army if you keep collecting children like they’re Pokemon and not letting them fall in love
– Movie is also too long with a whole lotta clichés and a plot that even Stevie Wonder can see coming (which was also ruined by the trailers)
– So it says a lot, without actually saying anything
– Really didn’t care about the love/hate thing, when they clearly still like each other
– Why must we play these games guys?
– Also, there’s a ton of fake deaths going on, probably the most I have ever seen in one movie

Anything else?

Genuinely can’t remember the first film and probably won’t remember this too. I think I know more about the details about the story of the Kirsten Stewart/director affair than the plot to the first one. If you’re a lover of the original film, you will have a great time with this, no doubt. If you have a lover who is a lover of the original film, you might have to make some sacrifices.

5/10

You might also (not) like:
Snow White and The Huntsman
Mirror Mirror
Maleficent

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19 thoughts on “The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016)

  1. I didn’t watch the first movie, because of Kristen Stewart and I don’t think I’ll be watching this either. As for Maleficent and Mirror, Mirror I think they were pretty good 😂 and definitely not to compare with Stewart’s horrible acting (I’m prepared for the bad comments, but I honestly believe that Twilight would have been so much better with someone else in the leading role)🙊🙈

    Liked by 4 people

      1. To be honest I didn’t know about this movie (but I just watched the trailer and it got me interested). I guess this role fitted her the best, for, as my father always says, she’s got such an expressionless face (not to mention her weird breathing), that she didn’t deliver such a good performance in Twilight, The Runaways or Zathura. I might give her another chance in the future, but with my mind on Snow White and the Huntsman, I’m not sure how soon it will happen.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m with you on the K-Stew bit. She literally ruins every film I attempt to watch if she has any part in the production. I can’t help but count how many close-up shots there are of her with her mouth hanging open which completely distracts from the film. I might make it a drinking game in the future.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. I liked Charlize Theron, Jessica Chastain, and Emily Blunt (one of the main reason I went to see the movie). But that’s pretty much it. It was film that didn’t need to be made. Also, Theron’s role was small in this movie and the trailers and TV spots practically showed all of them.

    Liked by 2 people

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